By Dina Karpitskaya
Yes, a million. Yes, they do want. And yes, they can’t.
The only obstacle on their way to Russia is, you know what, as it turns out? Not the tension between our countries and all this political turmoil but our Russian migration legislation.
If it were not for bureaucracy, as the Americans themselves say, crowds of migrants would have flooded here from the United States.
And that is why the Americans have turned directly to the State Duma. Via video link, they asked the deputies to take urgent action and allow them to leave for Russia.
I DIDN’T BELIEVE IT MYSELF
We live in incredible times. I never thought I would see and hear all this with my own eyes and ears.
And not somewhere in the central TV studio, but in a small hall under the very roof of the State Duma, without spotlights and cameras.
I would not believe these stories either. You will doubt it, but I will try to tell you anyway.
NOW THEY ARE HAPPY BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT IN NATO, BUT WITH US
Yes, a meeting in our Duma is rarely complete without a priest in a cassock, the first thing I thought when I entered the hall.
Although it may not seem so, the session was called “Refugees from NATO countries”. I dejectedly expected slogans and appeals to sound from the mouths of deputies.
But no! My father turned out to be an American by birth but Russian in spirit and even in citizenship.
The burgundy passport of the Russian Federation stuck proudly out of his pocket. To be envied.
And there were practically no deputies present, so a few of them stopped by briefly at the beginning and then quickly ran off to their important business, with the exception of Dmitry Kuznetsov, a member of the Defense Committee, who had organized this whole session.
There were also ex-citizens of NATO countries. And they called themselves lucky people who managed to get to Russia.
And (most importantly!) get legalized here.
And now, these “Russian Americans” are enthusiastic about helping other ex-compatriots. That’s why they actually gathered in the Duma.
And they even know what needs to be done to get “brains flowing from the United States to Russia” (quote).
And these same “brains” in the form of IT specialists and other big-headed specialists, nervously fiddled with pieces of paper with prepared speeches on video on the other side of the ocean.
“THEY DON’T EVEN HAVE MOBILE PHONES THERE”
“My husband and I and our five children moved to Russia a year ago (before the Special Operation began),” Svetlana Anokhina, the wife of American Joseph, was the first to speak.
– I am Russian; we met in the USA, where we lived for 10 years. And every time they came to Russia on vacation, Joseph liked it more and more.
He was surprised that everything here was not as they were told in America. As a result, he was also the initiator of the move.
– “I love America. Russia and the United States are two big, Christian countries, ” Joseph Roiz nodded, confirming his wife’s words.
“We have a lot in common, but people across the ocean don’t know it. I was born in 1974, and I was always sure that Russia was bad and that only big, shaggy men lived here.
But this is not so! And I want people in America to know that.
Now Joseph is also a popular blogger.
– He takes pictures of our life and shows Russia. The usual things like we live, school, kindergarten… We didn’t expect so many Americans to subscribe to his channel; their number is growing daily, ” says Svetlana.
– In the first 4 months alone, it became 17,000. People are surprised, write to us: “Wow! Shoot again! Don’t stop! What should I do to move to Russia? Or at least just come on a trip?”
Svetlana says that America has a lot of myths about Russia.
– They think that we still live here, as in the 90s. And that Russia is a huge “gray zone”. You won’t believe it when an American friend discovered we were moving; he seriously asked:: “Are there any mobile phones out there?”
– It is safer here, education is better, and there is support for large families. And, most importantly, a ban on LGBT propaganda, ” Joseph explained the reasons for moving.
– In an American school, there was an ad: “If your parents do not accept your gender, then now we are your parents,” says Svetlana.
As proof of her words, she gave a photo and a map of America, on which hundreds of clinics for gender reassignment are marked.
And now the Roiz family endlessly advises ordinary Americans who want to move to Russia.
“I FIX COMPUTERS; WHY WOULD THEY WANT TO KNOW MY ORIENTATION?
When they announced the next speaker, Nikolai Shores, I thought it would be Russian. But no, it turned out to be a full-blooded American.
“In 2021, I converted to Orthodoxy; I was christened Nicholas,” Mr. Shores explained. ” I’m 45; I work in IT as a system administrator and teach engineering to the new generation. I really want to move to Russia.”
– My wife and I are terrified of the situation in the US. We have propaganda about homosexuality everywhere. Our children are taught this at school.
It is impossible to avoid this even by studying or working remotely. From the first days of work, they ask for my orientation and forced me to sign a paper against discrediting LGBT people.
What difference does it make in my orientation if I fix computers? As a Christian, this is hard for me to deal with.
And for a passage from the Bible, you can get fired. America has become profoundly anti-Christian.
Nikolai dreams of moving his family to Russia. I have already thoroughly studied Russian migration laws.
– It is very difficult to get a quota; they are given only in small towns. With a tourist visa, you can enter for only six months, but this time is not enough to apply for a residence permit. And there are a lot of people like me who want to move to Russia, believe me.
And I’m not sure I’ll get a job right away, because I don’t know the language. I could work remotely for my American company, but now it is impossible to send dollars to Russia.
– If the government of the Russian Federation found an opportunity to help with the costs of a visa, tickets, language learning, and employment opportunities, I would be very grateful. And it would bring a lot of benefits to your country.
Americans Google “green cards in Russia” and can not understand where to start their move.
– At least translate your migration website into English! – they asked.
The only remaining deputy in the hall — Kuznetsov, listened carefully and recorded everything.
“THE WHITE MAN THERE IS EXTREME”
– According to my calculations, at least 1,000,000 people from the United States are ready to move to you, – said the American Charles Bausman.
“Maybe even more!” 1% of people, exactly, and in America, 340 million live. Normal ones! I know they are good, decent, hardworking people.
I’m 58. America used to be a middle-class paradise. But all this is destroyed. A white man with an average income is now extreme here. You have no idea what’s going on! Even a normal woman is hard to find.
And each new speaker wetted all new pearls. Sergey Bronstein, an emigrant from Russia, who lived in the United States for 23 years and returned to his homeland, literally begged!
“I almost died in this America. People have been leaving for 100 years. But they don’t understand what awaits them there. Why is nothing opposed to this PR campaign about emigration from Russia?
“Let them leave,” retorts Deputy Kuznetsov. – But to return convinced that there is nothing better than the Motherland!
“First of all, we need to help ethnic Russians return,” Bronstein continued. – Many people want to but do not have passports; there is nothing here in Russia. And they want it back!
BIG BUREAUCRATIC DAM
Everyone knows that the program of returning compatriots in Russia is lame on both legs. How many people have written and talked about this?
And many deputies, for example, Konstantin Zatulin, have already broken their tongues about it. Ex-Americans, and now Russians by citizenship, who have passed the crucible of our migration centers, had to take up the task.
One of them was in the audience — journalist Tim Kirby. He, a native of Ohio, immigrated from the United States in 2006.
It took him a long 12 years to get the coveted Russian passport. But now he, as a full-fledged citizen of our country, is ready to roll up his sleeves to change this situation.
– There are two legal ways — to have Russian roots and a Russian wife. Everything! But even with such a background, it will not be easy.
The migration service and the” beautiful “Sakharovo center are the way to Russia. And this path is complicated, annoying, incomprehensible, and without guarantees.
Bureaucracy in Russia is like barbed wire! But singles can still marry Russians online. What should other Americans do?
Families with children! Many of them want to move. Do you know how many emails are sent to me? They don’t seem to be able to get here at all, ” Tim yelled.
I don’t know if you heard his heated speech downstairs in the State Duma plenary hall. I hope so.
In the American way, Tim presented his presentation of the main obstacles preventing US citizens from fleeing to Russia, briefly, succinctly, and effectively, like recruiting players for the national football team.
– Why doesn’t Russia conduct selection and recruit the best players to its “team”? It’s possible! There seems to be a program to attract highly intelligent people, but where can I find vacancies? Nowhere!
Yes, you tell Americans you can apply for “self-employed” status via the phone and pay only 4% of taxes. This is paradise, a tax haven!
Do you know how many people will arrive?!! Brains can flow to Russia, but there is a big bureaucratic dam!
It’s a paradox – to immigrate to Russia, you have to live in Russia! Many people write to me, what should I do?
Where should I start? I do not know what to say! I used these loopholes myself, as they are called museums.
I tell everyone, take a ticket, come. Something will come up; that’s how everything works here.
The audience nodded in understanding. Tim Kirby’s speech looked so impressive that Deputy Kuznetsov asked him to come and personally speak to the deputies.
“Of course,” Tim said.
Americans and ex-Americans talked a lot, mostly complaining about difficulties with paperwork.
“If there were a simple and clear way, we would move to Russia,” said the 44-year-old IT specialist and father of 7 children.
– My wife and I have already studied all the countries, and Russia is the only one in the world where we want to live and die. Just live, work, go to church, and raise children.
DAMN QUOTAS AND REFERENCES
In the end, the priest spoke. The one with the Russian passport, Father Joseph Gleason. In detail and to the point, he cited the absurdities of our migration system.
His application was not accepted because it was filled out on a computer, not by hand. I went to the migration center of Yaroslavl because the quotas remained only there.
– Well, increase the shelf life of certificates of non-conviction to at least 180 days! Otherwise, it is no longer valid until the document reaches Russia from America. Or, even better, organize the submission of documents online; what is difficult here?
But, the mind of Russia does not understand, as you know. I listened to all these speakers for almost 4 hours (there were instructive historical excursions, how America became great by gathering people from all over the world, farmers who successfully moved to Russia, and even more – farmers who want to move here) and thought, well, what is it?!
Is the country really going to turn down our money? Why don’t we change some bad rules and let people come here to see us if they want to?
MIXED UP IN A BUNCH OF MONEY AND HECTARES
So, well, to understand how far this is all far from reality. And as far as our deputies are not ready, even mentally, for the flow of migrants from NATO countries, I will quote their welcoming speeches.
Sorry about the end, but it’s even better this way.
– Yes, this is an extremely unusual topic, – Gennady Semigin, the head of the Committee on Ethnic Affairs, began his speech.
He seems to have been as dumbfounded as I was by what was happening, unable to believe it.
“For the country, I mean, not for us. But, let’s start in order because we in Russia like to build a house, starting from the roof…
And he moved on to a more relevant, in his opinion, agenda, about what needs to be done to build the No. 1 country in the world.
In short — the first step is to set such a goal at the state level, to deal with the moral values that, according to the deputy, have been hit over the past decades, to understand why 90% of our resources are in the hands of 5% of citizens, and to solve the issue of demography.
“There must be at least 500,000,000 people on our territory.” And so on.
– Before inviting foreigners here, much work still needs to be done. And so, it turns out as if to get married without having an apartment or income …
And our Russian people will not understand; we have enough problems of our own. Put people from earth, from the village, here in the hall.
They will say, “What are you talking about? Isn’t there anything else to do?” But no matter, you are in very good hands here. The subject is serious and probably ahead of the present.
Another deputy, Dmitry Gusev, who promised 10 hectares of land each to foreigners, spoke more and more about demography than them.
However, it would seem that this is your target audience.
– Yes, I agree; we Russians should be 500,000,000. But how to do it? Permanent population decline…
Scientists have calculated that 13 million families must have more than 4 children to start at least a small increase.
And today, we have only 2 million large families. Let’s pay mothers a salary; let’s include such a profession in the register, ” Gusev reasoned, forgetting about hectares and foreigners.
Representative of Rossotrudnichestvo (the agency that actually deals with such cases abroad) Dmitry Polikanov, who was invited to the meeting with the Americans, complained about low funding.
– There are no budgets for our work at all. Come and see how much they give us. The turnover of a small sole proprietor is even higher.
And only Deputy Kuznetsov from the Security Committee believed in the flow of migrants from NATO countries.
Yes, the Germans then came to the Russian Empire on foot! 300,000 people! Russia now has a historic opportunity to attract not only migrants but also qualified specialists…
And now, with all our technologies, can’t we move a million people in a few years? We can do it! My colleagues say it’s too early, but it’s time.
Immediately after the meeting, a Coordination headquarters was created from these expats; plans were drawn up, and actions were outlined. All, of course, voluntarily and with bare enthusiasm.
“Nothing. – We will prepare an appeal to Lavrov and call the Interior Ministry for a conversation… Those who do the right thing will get their money’s worth, ” Kuznetsov encouraged himself.
Well, we wait, hope, and have fait.
This post was published first here.